It's All Spider-Man's Fault

Why aren't you reading this? Or this? Or especially THIS?

Well, it's not really your fault. It's Spider-Man's. Batman's too, he's such a spotlight-hogging prima donna. And then Buffy's all "I need a terrible audience-sucking comic too!"

Don't get me wrong: I love a lot of the big trademarked characters. I like following their adventures here and there. But then again, it's often disappointing, with the demand for stories leading to a lot of barely passable make-work stories. I'm not judging any creators here; under the deadlines they face, I'd be hard pressed to come up with engaging originality and true verve.

Speaking of engaging originality and true verve, it's out here in Webcomicland, which is like Radioland, but without the -- okay, you probably got it, I'll shut up. Anyway, there are a LOT of great stories and characters waiting to be discovered via my stupid blog so I can pimp my webcomic as much as humanly possible (sometimes I do it twice or even THRICE* in a single post!). And the best part?

THEY'RE FREE. THEY'RE ALL FREE, YOU STUPID IDIOTS.

Free comics. Hundreds and hundreds of cool stories full of the characters you don't even know you love yet. So I ask you: does it need to be Spider-Man? Like, all the time? Does every bloody story need a Witchblade or a Superman or a Willow or always something you've already heard of to be worth reading?

We live in a digital age, but popular, heavily trafficked webcomics are the exception, and not the rule. The simplest and therefore scientifically likeliest explanation is that there's a vanity press vibe (which would be a cool name for a vibrator with a mirror on it) to webcomics: thanks to Comicfury which I adore and rules all and other much crappier free hosts, anyone and their relatively talented monkey butler can make and post a webcomic. How can anyone sift through 10,000 webcomics, or even a hundred, just to find a couple good ones?

Well, I can, but I get very bored at work. And you can, 'cause I'm doing the heavy sifting (har) for you.

And really, are you satisfied with the endless rehashes and "events" the big two use to flog the mortally syphilitic horses of their creaky aging trademarks? AVX? Interest v. yawning, I declare. 'Cause I declare things. It's not a story that needed to be told for any reason other than they have to tell SOMETHING to fill all those pages.

Again, I love a lot of these characters -- mostly just when Warren Ellis writes them, and I think he hates at least half of them. I prefer the stuff he cares about -- Ignition City, Planetary, Doktor Sleepless...

That kind of love is for the material is everywhere in Webcomicland. Why not take a Spider-Break and read some stories about characters the authors don't just love because they once wore (or are still wearing) the officially-licensed Underoos? Characters who are a true part of them? Characters that inspire them so much that they toil like pros on comics YOU GET TO READ FOR FREE?

Webcomics aren't all just masturbation; some of us are trying hard to create professional quality comics... and more of us are succeeding than webcomics as a whole are given credit for. And we're doing it for us, sure, it's what we love... but we're doing it for you, too. Our audience.

And like Enzyte's Bob, we just want it to be bigger and satisfy our wife. Is that too much to ask? The answer is no, no it's not. So goddamn read some fucking free comics and like it, you lameass corporate whore dicks.

...sorry, I'm all tired and cranky from working around my day job to give you two issues of my comic for free.

Cheese sampler from way back,
-Caley Tibbittz

P.S. Like Eternal Knights on Facebook, get a friend to do the same, and I will send you a sketch of any character, shipped free.

*Just for Conan O'Brien.